He doesn’t like to get his paws wet, if the grass is wet he will hold his pee for days.

He hates squirrels… and they hate him.

Sometimes he sneaks up on to the side of the couch he’s not allowed to lay on.  And when we catch him, he freezes, refusing to look at us….peering at us from the corner of his eye.  Like if he doesn’t move, we wont see him.

He has a lot of doggy nightmares. People who don’t believe dogs dream, and therefore don’t have a conscience, and therefore don’t have a soul, and therefore won’t go to heaven, need to come to my house and watch him sleep. 

He likes bananas.

He likes beer. (and no…we don’t give him beer, he steals it from other boaters at the sand bar)

He likes me better than he likes my husband.

He doesn’t know what “do you gotta go potty” means. After ten years of asking him the same thing every morning, he still doesn’t quite get it.  He cocks his head, and looks at you like you’re talking in the same garbled language as the “Charlie Brown teacher.” 

He knows what “Where’s the squirrel?” means.

He can’t catch ANYTHING in his mouth to save his life. He’s like the kid on the block that never gets chosen in the neighborhood baseball game because he can’t catch.  If you throw him a treat, it usually bounces off  the top of his head, he eats it AFTER it has dropped to the floor.

He likes cats.

He loved his best friend Porky. (another stray cat we had taken in)

He tolerated our Shih tzu dog “Bubba”

He probably really likes my husband better than me.

He’s the best damn dog ever.

95 Responses

  1. Oh, I could have shared my bananas. We got 13 kg for $5–almost mushy. Froze them for the dogs. I don’t think you’d want stinky banana packages from Australia.

  2. That’s alot of bananas! Thanks for stopping by:)

  3. This list totally cracks me up! I love your mini-jibe about how he can’t catch anything in his mouth. It reminds me of the way I talk about my dog. And of course, the last line is just as it should be.

    Glad I saw you on the blog hop! Your rockin’ title caught my eye. 😉 Have a great weekend!

  4. Thanks Kristine and thanks for stopping by! Glad you like the title:))

  5. Yeah, I’m with Kristine–the title lured me over from the blog hop.

    Loved your list info about Sarge. But I’m not sure it will get him many dates at eHarmony.

    Isn’t it fun being in love with a dog?

  6. Hi Pam, thanks for stopping by and yes…I LOVE being in love with my dog! As far as E-Harmony, he really doesn’t need it because he uses his one-shy leg routine to get dates. He’s one lovable big galoot!

  7. Sarge,

    we don’t like our feet wet either… Needless to say we were not happy waking up to snow past our bellies. Have a great weekend…we are new followers

  8. Blog hop visitor here. The next time I’m washing mud off my dogs’ feet, I’ll think of Sarge!

  9. Awesome. Just awesome. The next best thing to humans…or is it the other way around?

  10. That’s a wonderful list. I think I could easily love your dog.

  11. this just cracked me up– especially the charlie brown teacher reference. our sweet foster wonderdog Lollie does the exact same thing!

    follow our foster:

  12. Found your blog via the “hop”. I feel like I know Sarge, he seems like a very cool guy!

  13. Ya know, I think they are born knowing the word squirrel, like its genetic or something. Our Corgi knew the word the day we brought him home 10 years ago and still acts like a fool when you ask him “where’s the squirrel?” At least our Corgi will walk on wet grass, however he thinks he will melt if he is out in the slightest of rain and with then do what your baby does and “hold it” for days if he must. I am so glad I found you on the blog hop, I love reading about critters and I love your sense of humor. I am now a follower and look forward to reading more about Sarge’s adventures. 🙂

    • Thanks Michele! I’m so glad you enjoy the bloggin. And you are right about “Where’s the squirrel?” They always seem to know what that means!

  14. Have a lucky weekend!

    ~A fellow Pet Blogger Hop participant and her evil cat

  15. that post was great! I love the if-I-don’t-look-at-them-they-won’t-know-I’m-here routine. I get a few of those looks when someone is chewing on something they shouldn’t and will just stop and and not move. And I loved the Charlie Brown reference, I actually think that is how my dogs hear me all the time!! WHAT?? WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY?? WE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU?? BOL
    Sarge sounds like a really cool dog!!
    BTW, we have one of violently dreaming dogs, let them witness how it sounds like Silver is sobbing her heart out while she runs and runs, growling and snapping at the air. Heartless bastard if they don’t believe!!

  16. My favorite Sarge thing is the third one because the real life present Joke Puppy shares this trait. When she knows that her dad is leaving, and is let out the dog door in the back yard to “go” before he leaves,,,,she will not come back in. She sits down when dad calls,,,at first looking at him,,,,but then averting her gaze approximately 5 feet higher, and also 5 feet to the right, as if to say, “I’m not looking at you,,,so I can’t hear you,,,,and you can’t see me”. It’s hilarious,,,,,unless dad’s really in a hurry , of course.

  17. This is the best blog I’ve ever seen in my life! I really appreciate you taking the time out of your busy day to share your this with everyone.

  18. Dogs absolutely dream. Before Lucy, I had a basset named Nick. I don’t think he dreamed, or if he did, he never “talked” about it. But, Lucy will fall asleep, and she’ll make these little yipping sounds and wiggle around like she’s chasing something.

    • That’s what Sarge does…he jerks and tries to bark and run in his sleep. There is no doubt he’s dreaming about something! Thanks so much for stopping by!

  19. I loved learning about Sarge!
    Nubbin wiggles,

  20. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.

  21. I agree with your thoughts here and I really love your blog! I’ve bookmarked it so that I can come back & read more in the future.

  22. Hey Guys, just dropped over from the Blog Hop….isn’t it amazing how each dog has his/her own personality? How do people survive without ever owning a pet?

    Drools and licks,
    Minnie and Mack

  23. Sarge, You are adorable. You remind me of my sister Sharona. I am a shih-tzu and she is an Am Staff Terrier. I love her desperately, and for the most part she tolerates me. However, I am curious that if Sarge is the best damn dog ever…how come my Mom says that Sharona is the best dog ever (and even though I am also a dog, I still think Sharona is the best dog ever!)?
    Just curious about that one. xoxo Winnie Cooper

  24. Hey Sarge’s mom, just found you on the blog hop and love your post… ah, Sarge reminds me of my dear old Seamus, a very tidy (okay, prissy!) rough collie who didn’t like getting his pretty little white feet wet either… wouldn’t swim at the beach, he preferred to wait till the other dogs came back to shore with the stick, and then he’d bite ’em in the butt, as if to say, don’t go there again!

    Now I have two water babies who love getting wet, muddy, stinky and all that good stuff. We have to do a lot more hosing downs and baths now, so count your blessings. Prissy can be a good thing!


  25. Dropping by from the blog hop. Love that description of Sarge. I firmly believe that ALL dogs go to heaven! Loving your blog and can’t wait to look around some more! 🙂

  26. Great post! Darby likes whomever is holding the best food 🙂

  27. Here from the Pet Blogger Hop. Passing by to say hello. Have a lucky weekend!

  28. Love your post! I’ve watched my dogs dreaming–twitching feet and all! Don’t you just wonder what it’s all about?

  29. Hi
    Stopping by from the Pet Blog Hop. Kendall doesn’t like to get her feet wet, either. She’s taking to pooping on the deck just so she doesn’t have to step out onto the grass. Good thing it rains a lot at our house. It keeps the deck clean.

  30. I found you through today’s blog hop because I love your blog’s name. Your posts — well, at least this intro — are as wonderfully cranky as I would have expected. Can I tell you one thing that I hope you won’t take the wrong way: I can’t bear to read white on black (or any other color) text. It hurts my eyes. So I’m less likely to come back though I am very interested in your content (you’re in good company by the way — I feel that way about Life With Dogs, so I just watch the videos).

    • I actually appreciate your honesty! And yes, I admit I can be wonderfully cranky:). I will actually take your comment under advisement and will consider changing my color format…

    • I actually changed it…Who knows how many other readers share the same opinion? Besides, I love it when people keep it real!

      • Wow — that was fast. It looks great to me! You should poll other readers and ask what they think — if nothing else, that’s a great way to drive traffic 😉

  31. Love that Sarge won’t get his feet wet! lol My spoiled brat peed on the rug outside the door the other night because it was raining. Oh My! Yet, let her out in the snow and she won’t come in until she’s exhausted herself. Go figure!

    And yes, “where’s the squirrel” is programmed in their DNA!

  32. dogs like Sarge, are the best!

  33. Our dog hates getting wet too– and not just his paws! But he won’t hold it in for three days because we won’t let him!

    As for whom he likes best– I like to think it’s me, because I’m the only one who walks him, but the Spouse can throw the ball farther for him to chase… 😦

  34. He sounds like an awesome dog! What a good friend to have!

  35. We’re blog hoppin’ today, and are so glad we hopped over here!

  36. This is the first time I’ve encountered your blog and I did enjoy the street smart talk and cute topics. Have I just missed you in earlier blog hops or are you new on the scene? Doesn’t matter! It was a fun visit.

    • Thanks so much for stopping by! I’ve been around a few months and still making my way. I tried to be PC originally…but that doesn’t work so well for me. so…..I just tell it like I see it and hope to get the message across:)

  37. Wish I could meet him! Sounds like a long lost brother of ‘Marley’! 😀 And btw! I love this site! You just have a new subscriber 🙂

  38. Hi could I copy a few lines here in this post if I provide a link back to your site? Marge 🙂

    • Sorry I didn’t respond sooner but this comment went into my spam folder. Sure, you can copy a few lines and I appreciate the link back! Thanks for stopping by!

  39. You have the best do in the world,I just discovered one thing that dog doesnt suppose to be when you say your dog steals beer,,funny! He likes to drink i think.

  40. LOL! Love this post!
    We are stopping by from the hop to say hello! Have a PAWsome weekend!

    Doreen, Kiko, Riley and Millie
    Doggies and Stuff blog

  41. Just discovered your blog! What a great find! Happy Saturday Pet Blog hop!

  42. This is so damn cute! You’ve inspired me to make a similar list for each of my boxers, Zeta & Cam. Thanks for sharing!

  43. I’ll add this site to my bookmark and tell my friends about this blog.

  44. Thank you for sharing this great information. Continue up your piece of work.

  45. Sarge is my kindof dog! Happy Blog Hop Day!

  46. It is a great pleasure for me to visit your web site and to enjoy your excellent articles here. I like that very much. I realize that you paid much attention for those posts, as all of them make sense and are very useful. Thank you very much for sharing. I can be very good reader & listener. Appreciate your work!

  47. How can I use this to site a paper that I am writing?

  48. Hello everyone I am doing a research assignment for a class project representing Fences for Fido. We need to gain more information about those that might help with our cause. If you could fill out this short five minute survey my group members and I would greatly appreciate it, the survey is found at

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  49. I’m stopping by today to visit your blog because of the Life with Dogs Blog Hop. Hello Winnie!

    Visit my blog ( as today I’m memorializing the 100 sled dogs that were slaughtered in British Columbia. It’s the HOWL heard around the world today. Cheers!

  50. I know you spend a good part of the day dealing with things that are not fun so I wanted to let you know I linked back to your blog today with an award for you, you don’t need to do a darn thing with it, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your work! A friend and I came up with the idea for it one afternoon when we both had awards that made us do stuff. Hope you have a great week!!

  51. Wow – what a great tribute to your special boy. Bananas, huh? I haven’t tried that one on my girls yet…
    As far as beer goes, Arwen would be stealing right alongside him.
    I’ve told my husband that the dogs have to love me more – it’s just a fact. Secretly, though, I catch him trying to give secret treats to anyone that will choose him to cuddle with rather than follow me…
    Glad to have found you through Pets Blogroll – check us out if you get a chance. Thanks!

  52. I’m glad I discovered your blog. Opinionated? yeah .In your face? yeah. But a solid presence! The black and white photo is alsonicely done. I’m thinkin maybe I could move a little bit in my position on pitbulls.

    • Thanks! I’m not going to write it unless I can write “exactly” how I feel! And trust me…my dog Sarge is one of the nicest dogs you would ever meet!

  53. LOL great post. and greetings from Holland:)

  54. If you dont mind, exactly where do you host your web site? I am searching for a good web host and your web site seams to be quick and up almost all the time

  55. Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!

  56. Howdy! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thanks

    • Hi, sorry for the delayed response. But it is very east to set up your own blog! I find WordPress to be very easy to use with lots of templates to choose from. Just go to and create an account, from there it will help you set your blog up and choose your template. Good luck!

  57. I need to to thank you for this good read!! I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it. I’ve got you book-marked to look at new stuff you post…

  58. Hi would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a honest price? Many thanks, I appreciate it!

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  60. Article contain with insight info, Thanks for shared with us.

  61. Having cats my entire life, now especially as an adult, I can truthfully say that the unconditional love of our pet dogs is one of the biggest joys of our lifestyles every single day. Their love, appearance, kisses and emotion is stunning on a scale you have to experience to comprehend. Folks can know a lot through dogs. They’re a treasure.

  62. I adore this! Your humour and your amazing dog with his cute personality…You form a nice team! (And It really made me giggle 🙂

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