WHEN DOGS PRAY

     Dear God…..
 
 
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Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
 
 
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Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
 
 
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Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
 
 
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Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray,
and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?
 
 
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Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
 
 
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Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers,
beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
 
 
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Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
 
 
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Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
 
 
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Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7.  Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it’s usually not a good thing.
 
 
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     P.S.  Dear God: When I get to Heaven…. may I have my testicles back?
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   

 

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One Response

  1. BAH!!! Well, you hit the nail right on the head with this one. I laughed the whole way through. Thanks for the morning happy! I will definitely be sharing this one with my DH who will appreciate each part of this ” prayer”.

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