Signs from the dead?

It’s been quite a year….as a family we have been fortunate…there hasn’t been a lot of death within our family…until this year.  But this post isn’t necessarily about the pain of losing our loved ones…it’s about what happened afterwards…and whether or not we believe in signs.

It started with the death of my grandparents a week apart.  We always believed they would go together.  After being married for 70 plus years…their love and life together was truly inspirational…they loved the simple things…they loved their family…and they held hands until the very end.

Caretakers stayed in the home 24/7 for the last two years…and it became less of a home and more of a holding cell. Grandpa could no longer drive or walk without assistance….Grandma became delusional…and because of their health they were rarely able to get out of the house.  Things began to spiral downward the last year along with their depression…misery…and hopelessness.  But we also witnessed how that 70 years of love gave them comfort.  Every day they ate lunch in their tiny kitchen nook…without their wheelchairs…walkers…and oxygen tanks.  The caretakers were moved by their subtle chatter and how Grandma patted Grandpa’s hand as they ate.  It was the only normalcy that remained…and they embraced it every day.

My Grandmother went into the hospital first with the flu, and was expected to make a recovery….but while she was still there, Grandpa was suddenly rushed to the same hospital and died several hours later.  Right after Grandpa’s passing, we walked to Grandma’s room to check in on her, expecting her to be sound asleep.  But when we walked in she was wide awake.  She was deeply agitated and kept mumbling “Isn’t this terrible?”   After that night she didn’t ask about Grandpa at all, she didn’t ask why he wasn’t calling her.  She knew he was gone although nobody actually told her. Grandma had dementia but she always knew Grandpa. Because her condition deteriorated right afterwards, we couldn’t take her to the funeral.  Grandma died a week later.

Some of us in the family took their passing harder than others,   Several days after the funeral my cousin awoke in the morning and instantly “felt” that my grandparents were with her.  According to her….it was powerful and overwhelming and there was no mistaking their presence.  Since my cousin is highly emotional we weren’t sure what to make of her experience.  I certainly wasn’t discounting it…but I just wasn’t sure what she experienced.

So fast forward a few weeks later….and I’m up early getting a cup of coffee…I’m feeling good…getting my head wrapped around the day….when all of a sudden I stopped mid pour…I had THE MOST intense feeling of my life.  It was intense and fleeting but I instantly knew it was them. It wasn’t a guess…or an assumption…I KNEW it was them. I cannot describe to you how I knew…I can’t even describe the details of the feeling because it’s beyond description.   One of the interesting parts to this story is that the mornings were their favorite time of the day…and both my cousin and I had our experience in the morning.  Yep…could be coincidence…or we could just be whack jobs….or it could be a subliminal effort to reconnect to the Grandparents we so dearly missed.  But I can tell you this…I have never in my life experienced that feeling before.

So now fast forward a few more months…and I’m sitting at the lake with my Mom and she tells me of “her” experience.  She was laying on the couch watching TV…and she said

 “All of a sudden I felt something. I wasn’t sure what it was but I looked down at the foot of the couch and I saw Grandpa.  He looked right at me and then turned and walked away.”

She didn’t tell us at first…and I don’t blame her…admitting that you’ve been touched by the other side can be embarrassing.   But I do believe all three of us experienced them.

But I also have another confession…for several months I experienced powerful electrical surges in both my home and lake cottage.  Some people claim that a presence from beyond will affect electricity…all I can say is they were strong power surges…and now they are gone.

And lastly…my beloved Sargie.   It was a simple small sign…but I believe it was him.  On the morning  Sarge was euthanized…I sat on my front patio at the lake…and of course was an emotional wreck.  As I was sitting there…remembering “all things Sarge“…a butterfly landed on my hand.  I’m not going to try and tell you Sarge had a thing for butterflies…I’m not even going to tell you I believe butterflies have a special meaning from the departed.  All I am going to say is this…never in my life have I had a butterfly land on my hand.  In fact we “rarely” see butterflies at the lake…if at all.  So…the fact that a butterfly suddenly appeared at the lake….and landed softly on my hand…on the morning Sarge left us…is really all I need to believe.

I’m not trying to be the next John Edwards, or the Long Island Medium…I’m not trying to convince everybody that there is life after death or that they continue to communicate with us.  And maybe it’s just desperation…that I need to believe the connection is there.  But I do believe in signs…I believe in them because to me the world is full of mysteries and I refuse to believe my bond with them is forever severed.